It's no secret that stress is a big factor in our lives, but often we underestimate its effect on us and our bodies. Just as aches and pains can change our state of mind, in the same way, our thoughts and feelings can effect our bodies. This is what we refer to as the Mind-Body Connection. When we feel stressed, our body tenses up. We get a "tension headache," or we lose our appetite, or our shoulders get really tight. It's our body's way of telling us that something is out of balance.
Our bodies weren't really designed to sit in one position without moving, and yet "work," as many of us know it, consists of doing exactly that. When we sit motionless while working under pressure or feeling panicked, we can end up storing that stress physically in various places in the body. Even if we're just paying bills or filling out paperwork, we might end up with a sensations of stress within the body, be it a tension headache, sore back, tight shoulders and neck. There is a very simple equation that explains this phenomenon:
Sedentary Work + Emotional Stress = Pain
Prior to working at BIOS, I treated students at the UCLA Health Center. There, I noticed time and again that the majority of my patients, students who sit relatively motionless while in class or reading day after day, had the same complaint – neck and shoulder tension and pain. Perhaps the pain would radiate down the back or up the neck to the head, or perhaps it would manifest more severely as carpal tunnel syndrome. Nevertheless, the cause and resulting symptoms were the same -- Pain.
As time went by, I noticed that at the end of an acupuncture treatment, many of the patients would say to me, "Do you know what just occurred to me? I'm making way too much of a big deal about this project I'm working on." Or, "I think the reason I'm so stressed is because I'm worried about my Mom." It was as if the actual release of tension--the process of the acupuncture itself--provided an insight, a revelation about that person's life, or a clue about the root of the stress. And when the patient reflected on it, he or she usually could figure out what to do to gain control over the stress and the pain.
This continues to be a beautiful process to watch: when we are open to what our bodies are saying to us, we are then open to our own healing. We can even see pain as our body's way of trying to talk to us, of saying, "Hey! I don't like this! This really hurts, and I'm trying to get your attention!" Pain means there's something not quite right. It makes sense when you think about it really--when we are in a pain-free state, a state free of tension, we are in a state of ease, balance, and harmony. So start to notice your thoughts and feelings when you feel your shoulders tense up. Take a deep breath, consciously relax, and try to listen when your body talks. So what can we do when we find ourselves in a state of physical tension?
Here are ten easy steps to a more stress-free life:
Live in your body, not in your head. Sometimes we are thinking and worrying so much that we aren't even aware of the rest of our body. (When I do this, I usually end up bumping into things, simply because I was worrying about something and didn't notice that step that I just tripped on, or that corner of the table that I just bumped into.)
Remember to breathe. Be conscious about taking deep breaths every once in a while (now, for instance). If you notice you're holding your breath, let it out!
Become aware of your posture. If you notice neck pain, have you been straining your neck muscles as your head tilts down when you read? If your shoulders ache, have you been holding them tightly? Get in the habit of really feeling what it's like to inhabit your body.
Make a conscious effort to get up and walk around every half-hour or so. Don't sit in one place or one position all day long. If you absolutely can't get up, then try some shoulder lifts and neck rolls (gently, please) at your desk.
Notice your inner dialogue. It's easy to be hard on yourself; most of us wouldn't talk to our enemies the way we talk to ourselves. If you notice that you're mentally yelling at yourself for your shortcomings, give yourself a break, and invite yourself to relax and let go of your shoulders.
Be your own best friend. When you feel uptight, nervous, or tense, ask yourself why (Am I nervous? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Why? What can I do to feel better?) Give yourself credit for working hard and putting forth so much effort. Then remind yourself that you're a good person. Give yourself permission to let go of your tension.
Be realistic about your limitations. Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say. Don't expect to be able to do 4 hours of work in 2. You are not a machine.
Cry when you need to. You'll feel so much better than if you hold it in.
Maintain a good sense of humor. Second only to #8, a great laugh is an amazing tension releaser.
Give yourself space. Visualize your shoulders getting broader and your lungs filling with oxygen as you take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Exhale, and take another deep breath. As you exhale, visualize your spine coming into perfect alignment. As you breathe in once again, scan your neck and shoulders for any place where you feel tightness, and with your next exhale, release all the tension.
After you've completed #10, try to sit for a couple of minutes and really feel this state of relaxation. It may take some practice, but after a while it will feel more natural. As you body remembers to relax, you'll notice tension in your body sooner. As soon as you notice it, try to let it go and relax again. And if that doesn’t work, come and get an acupuncture treatment!!!